some pandemic lists

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My new normal is frequently vacillating between being totally fine and a constant mess of tears.
I've found myself making lists and workplans for my weeks at home, things to cook, ideas for things to do with Riley, things we're running out of and need to restock, etc. Here's a bunch of lists about my new life

There are things about this new life that I’m genuinely enjoying:
  • Not working/only doing reproductive labor
  • Spending tons of sweet quality time with Riley and Jon 
  • So much cooking and baking (I’ve made every meal and baked good we’ve eaten for almost two months except for a couple times a week or so that Jon cooks a big pot of chili or jambalaya or beans)
  • Time for gardening
  • Hanging out in the yard with Riley everyday 
  • Actually keeping my house reasonably clean and functional despite all 3 of us being home constantly
  • Taking long walks around the neighborhood
  • Talking to my friends and family in California more often
  • Riley randomly decided to start sleeping in his own bed! (and holy shit I’m so grateful we stopped breast-feeding a few months ago)


But then there’s all the other stuff that’s truly horrible and depressing: 
  • Having no childcare ever, and probably none or very little for the next year or more
  • Contemplating the damage to Riley’s basic socialization and ability to interact with other children and people
  • Not being able to see other humans, hang out or have meals with friends
  • Not being able to see our family
  • The fact that I’ll probably never get to see my grandma in person ever again 
  • Going down apocalyptic/dystopian rabbit holes about what the future will even look like


Ridiculous things I’ve baked from scratch + cooking projects:
  • Danishes with cream cheese filling 
  • Croissants (plain, chocolate, and pizza-filled)
  • Glazed donuts
  • Ricotta cheese (and then made lasagna with it and used the leftover whey to make bread)
  • Sourdough starter and lots of sourdough bread, plus pretzels and crackers with sourdough discard
  • I got a bunch of ramps from this weird CSA and made ramp butter, Italian salsa verde with ramps, parsley, and anchovies (and froze a bunch of it), and sourdough bread with ramps and toasted walnuts in it
  • A really rich chocolate layer cake for my birthday, and I froze half the cake in slices and ate them for the next two weeks
  • So many cookies and muffins


Hobbies I’ve been contemplating (but am still skeptical about):
  • Neighborhood birdwatching
  • Plant identification
  • knitting
  • Sewing


Goals:
  • Actually read a book
  • do some sort of exercise other than walking

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