Life in the Time of Corona

Friends! It's been a while. This (along with general pandemic isolation and yearning to connect in some way) has inspired me to make a real honest-to-god zine. So if you want a copy, lemme know.  I just caught up on everyone's posts for like the past month. So good.  My life this past month or so has been pretty consumed with worrying my dad might die soon. He has had a long-term illness for many many years, and recently it's really gone off a cliff of badness. My brother's been in a town a fair amount because of this. He and I have been spending time crying together. I love my brother so much and am grateful we can at least experience this together. God, it's rough. But it's not equally bad every day. You can't experience this level of grief non-stop -- you have to take breaks. So as of today, I haven't cried in a couple days. And actually, now I don't think my dad is gonna die soon. Now I think he's just entered into a new state. Mostly I just ...

  I know that title is bad.  I know we are supposed to be all posi about the vax, and not share negative stuff, cuz we need people to believe and do it and get herd immunity, and be able to open restaurants, and have orgies, and swim in public pools again.  But I'm not feeling posi, I'm feeling tired.  Today I was supposed to get the J&J vax. I had my own reasons for wanting that one, that I won't go into, but like pretty much everything I do and don't put into my body right now is about being knocked up, and my own feelings about risk, decisions, etc. At some time before I woke up, the CDC decided 7 people of 6 million was too many people getting blood clots and cancelled them till further notice. When I called the Walgreens at 9:00 AM they didn't have a plan, told me it was my choice. When I showed up at 12:45 they told me no. Unlike my confirmation, they could not be bothered to email me.  In the intervening hours I stressed a lot. Talked to a lot of peop...