....and then a bird died in my yard

I had a pretty good couple weeks. My routines are working, Riley’s doing great, and I stayed busy with all the small everyday things involved in my covid-stay-at-home-mom life.

Last week, with no prompting from Jon and me, Riley decided to start sleeping in his own bed. He’s been sleeping in our bed his whole life, and we’ve talked for a long time about transitioning him to sleeping there, but we were planning to tackle potty-training first. As usual, Riley was on his own schedule and decided this was happening. It’s nice to have our bed back and get more time alone, but it also means he’s waking up at least 2 times a night crying for me.

After over a week of being woken up 2-3 times a night, I’m a little wrecked. I remember this feeling from when he was younger. It’s harder to stay level, everything feels close to the surface. I felt shitty already today, and then read another article about possibilities for what school will look like next year (one day in school + 4 days remote learning, or every other week, or staggered grades and days). Does that mean I’m basically responsible for his entire early-childhood education? Am I going to have to jump through some weird hoops to not give up his lottery seat and keep him enrolled (assuming school will go back to normal at some point), even though there’s no way I can imagine effective or even supportive remote learning for a 3-year old?

I got through my morning routine, I was starting to feel like I could make it through the day, and then I watched a bird die in my backyard. 

I made coffee and breakfast and cleaned the kitchen and cried a little while Riley and Jon watched Blues Brothers and snuggled on the couch. Riley ate, I drank coffee, and Jon went upstairs to start work. Riley and I went outside to play, but that’s when we saw the bird. I couldn’t tell if it was sick or injured, but it was walking in shaky circles in one spot, and let us get close to it. I figured we’d give it a little while to see if it recovered on it’s own, and Riley and I watered the garden and played for a while. He watched the garbage truck in the alley and I called animal control for advice. By the time they got back to me, the bird was clearly dying and I took Riley inside so he wouldn’t have to see it. That was not a homeschool lesson I was ready for today.

I watched the bird die in the yard while Riley helped me mix some bread dough. At some point I have to go deal with the body before we go on our daily walk.