pure moods
you know what's wild, y'all? moods.
Like today, I woke up fine, was productive, I remember that, then, there was just this long stretch of feeling totally hopeless as a person, in this situation, to rise to the occasion, to understand the occasion, to keep my feelings in some kinda reasonable place, to focus on work or anything else moderately helpful. then I literally shook it off to tay sway in the back yard cuz I couldn't come up with a better idea, and I waved at my neighbors when they walked through the alley to my middle aged dance party of one, and then felt better, but also felt like I was pushing through and then felt worse, and then went for a walk, which felt better, then ran a work meeting which felt normal and engaging and helpfully disconnected from my feels, then for a walk with Emma at a social distance. After all that I felt light, and came home, was actually productive with work, watched my dumb tv show during drum practice, made a giant salad, and watched a dumb movie. It makes no particular sense to me that I should be a stress ball from noon to 4:25 and chill in the evening. but I guess I'm trying to notice it, be like, what's up mood, and move through it, around it, sink into it, or add some vitamin DC and endorphins to it.
PS. there are some amazing cherry trees tucked in the neighborhoods and woods around carter barron
Like today, I woke up fine, was productive, I remember that, then, there was just this long stretch of feeling totally hopeless as a person, in this situation, to rise to the occasion, to understand the occasion, to keep my feelings in some kinda reasonable place, to focus on work or anything else moderately helpful. then I literally shook it off to tay sway in the back yard cuz I couldn't come up with a better idea, and I waved at my neighbors when they walked through the alley to my middle aged dance party of one, and then felt better, but also felt like I was pushing through and then felt worse, and then went for a walk, which felt better, then ran a work meeting which felt normal and engaging and helpfully disconnected from my feels, then for a walk with Emma at a social distance. After all that I felt light, and came home, was actually productive with work, watched my dumb tv show during drum practice, made a giant salad, and watched a dumb movie. It makes no particular sense to me that I should be a stress ball from noon to 4:25 and chill in the evening. but I guess I'm trying to notice it, be like, what's up mood, and move through it, around it, sink into it, or add some vitamin DC and endorphins to it.
PS. there are some amazing cherry trees tucked in the neighborhoods and woods around carter barron
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